August 11, 2009

Bloomberg's First Tweet (after thirty attempts, $2M, and a team of consultants lead by a Jewish haiku expert)

NY Magazine reported that Mayor Bloomberg launched his inaugural tweet today, but what wasn't mentioned was the amount of editing and censoring that went on behind the scenes to get it right. The first tweet was posted after more than thirty attempts, and was so disruptive and chaotic that a task force has been established to edit and control the mayor's messages.

"We all agreed on the three-sentence tweet," said a campaign spokesperson. "It gets the message out there without appearing to pander. The mayor liked it so much we couldn't stop him once he got started. He really found his voice."

The campaign also brought in the renowned Jewish haiku expert, Shorat Forom, the inventor of "tveeting," to help the mayor master his message. Conservative estimates put the price of the mayor's first tweet at over $2M.

Much to the chagrin of the Bloomberg campaign, several of the mayor's first attempts to tweet were made public:

"Diana never has to strain to see who's in a room when we go out. I'm on tip pee toes craning my neck to see the scene. Not always, but sometimes it bothers me."

"My thumbs hurts from all of this technology. Though my hands look good for someone my age. And I don't even work at it other than manicures."

"Maybe a fourth term would be good for the people. Then they would be less upset over the third one. Even though I haven't the faintest idea why people won't just put it behind them."

[This story is satire, and should not in any way be taken as fact]

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