October 16, 2009

Mayor Bristles at Suggestion He's Using Office to Influence Election; Declares November 2nd "Be Grateful We're Not Under Terrorist Attack" Day

Incumbent candidates are often accused of using their offices as a campaign tool, and Mayor Michael Bloomberg is no exception. From endorsements and photo-ops with Bono and Bette Midler, to orchestrating gun sale stings in Ohio, the Mayor's schedule is packed with events and initiatives that many would say are simply dressed-up campaign events.

While simultaneously denying that he would ever use his office for campaign politics, the Mayor's office recently unveiled a series of new commemorative "theme" days planned to debut right before the election. The tone and timing have the Mayor's critics asking questions.

Here are just a few of the "theme" days planned between now and the election:

October 30: "1989 All Over Again" - For one day only, Times Square will be restored to its twenty-year-old level of decay, crime will rise five-fold, and commemorative racial riots will be held in Brooklyn and Queens."

November 2: "Be Grateful We're Not Under Terrorist Attack Day" - The day will be commemorated with 9/11 re-enactments, loud explosions, and emergency medical drills.

November 3: "Anthrax Preparedness Day" - Stay home and tape up your windows.

[This story is satire, and should not in any way be taken as fact]
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