July 16, 2009

Bloomberg Campaign to Use SUMP to Control Message

Always searching for inventive methods to control Mayor Bloomberg's re-election message, campaign sources have announced the creation of a new initiative: Strategic Use of Mottoes and Phrases, or SUMP. The plan is to replace words or phrases that the campaign sees as harmful to their message with more Bloomberg-friendly verbiage.

SUMP’s first challenge will be to control the negativity associated with the Mayor’s role in extending term limits for himself and the city council. Effective Monday, the campaign requests that any mention of the phrase term limits be replaced with the phrase people power.

"Use the words term limits and most voters have a negative reaction," said Howard Wolfson, a senior Bloomberg strategist, "But tell a voter that Mayor Bloomberg fought to extend people power, and that turns them around immediately. I’ve never seen anything like it" Wolfson said that plans are already in development to find substitutes for the phrases republican candidate, job loss, and slush fund.

In related news, the New York City press corps announced that when referring to Howard Wolfson, they would be replacing senior Bloomberg strategist with lying sack of crap.

[This story is satire, and should not in any way be taken as fact]
Newer Post Older Post You're a Disgrace, Mayor Bloomberg